The alligators under the bed

I'll warn you before hand, this is rather long, and not completely linear. I'm not sure it makes sense...

You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desire. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is not truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies. John 8:44

Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. I Peter 5:8

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. John 10:10

In the last couple days, I have been struck by the ridiculousness of what I am afraid of. Those scriptures are probably things that you're heard a million times; maybe enough that you don't really hear what they're saying. Because I don't know about you, but they don't break me into a cold sweat. My heart doesn't beat faster when I read them. But it should. Those scriptures should embody the single most terrifying thought, the worst nightmare of every single christain. And yet, it's the the dark walk across campus after class, the thought of what a human could do to me, that makes me actually nervous.

And tonight, I was listening to a John Piper sermon. The easist thing for me to do is just copy what he says instead of paraphrasing:
               When Jesus began his ministry on the way to the cross, Satan tried to turn him away from
               the path of suffering and sacrifice. In the wilderness, he tempted him to turn stones into
               bread and jump off the temple and get the rulership of the world by worshipping him
               (Matthew 4:1-11). The point of all these temptations is: Don’t walk the path of suffering
               and sacrifice and death. Use your power to escape suffering. If you’re the Son of God, show
               your right to reign. And I can help you do it. Whatever you do, don’t go to the cross.

               Then do you remember the time when Jesus predicted he would suffer many things from
               the elders and the chief priests and be killed and Peter rebuked him and said, “Far be it from
               you, Lord! This shall never happen to you” (Matthew 16:22). In other words, I will never let
               you be killed like that. Jesus did not commend him. He said, “Get behind me, Satan! You are
               a hindrance to me. For you are not setting your mind on the things of God, but on the things
               of man” (Matthew 16:23). Hindering Jesus from going to the cross was the work of
               Satan. Satan did not want Jesus crucified. It would be his undoing.

Satan wants us to flee the cross. Satan wants us to be afraid of death. It will be his undoing. Instead of fearing the thing that could actually destroy us--satan's lies--we fear the only thing with the power ot destroy him! But Jesus conquered the grave; we need not fear the cross, on the third day, Jesus rose.

I will ransom them from the power of the grave; I will redeem them from death: O death, I will be thy plagues; O grave, I will be thy destruction

Hosea 13:14
When my sister was little, and she would stay all night with my grandma, she liked to get up alot. My grandma told her there were alligators under the bed, and if she got up, they would eat her. My mom got really mad at my grandama; she wanted her daughters to be afraid of real things--of the stranger at the mall, or getting hit by a car--instead of being paranoid about things that couldn't really hurt her. God must be so fustrated with our fear of physical death, while we dive leadlong into spiritual death.

God has given me a heart for Indonesia. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do with it, but it  scares me that I may be called there. My father is adamant that I not go; Indonesia is very predominatley Muslim. Many of its people live isolated lives on islands. There is a lot of violence. Missionarys are murdered by the people they are trying to reach. And I think to myself, surely I can't be called there. I'm intelligent; I will be a medical professional. What a waste, if I were to die; wouldn't it be better to spend myself some where safer, somewhere where I can live a long time, and reach alot of people. I fear the cross more than I fear Satan. It is utterly nonsensical.

What if Jesus thought that: that his life would be better served in years of ministry. He could have reached a larger ammount of people in an 80 year life. How silly of God to call him to lay down his life; what a waste. But, instead he submitted to death. Even death on a cross. He died because that is the only way to conquer sin. I'm not sure what plans God has for me, but I pray that his glory matters more to me than this life. that every descision is not made in fear of the cross but of Satan's lies.