O to grace how great a debtor

Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law. Romans 13:8

...Jesus sought me when a stranger,
Wandering from the fold of God;
He, to rescue me from danger,
Interposed His precious blood.

O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I'm constrained to be!
Let that grace now like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee...

So, at five am Thursday morning I might have cried because I was so tired, and I overslept, and I wasn't going to get my Spanish essay done... we may have complained a lot on Thursday night at my bible study...  Friday, I might have gotten really mad at my mom, just because I'm lazy and didn't want to clean my room, and I wanted some minutemade, no matter what she said... Saturday, during free time, I may have had my own personal, "I'm so tired" pity party... and all of this probably happened, not because the rest of the world just doesn't understand how hard my life if, but because it's really, really tempting to think I can do everything by myself, or to "get so busy" that I justify sleeping through my quiet time...

But, miraculously, the moment I think, God, I just can't do this anymore, things feel better. Sometimes, they even get better.

And I'm really, really happy for the people God has put into my life for those moments... Like my mom, who reminded me that other people have feelings too, or Morgan and Kathryn, who (probably without even realizing it) reminded me that in God, there is rest, or my leader team, whose love for kids with disabilities makes me smile, even when I kind of want to run away from those same kids, or Breanna, who often gets on my nerves, but then her mom comes out side with the bouquet of flowers that she wanted to make for me, and I am reminded what love is.

I don't have enough love in my heart... yet. But every time I realize this, I allow Christ to move in a little more.

By the cross we are freed from all debts except for one.  We still owe a continuing debt to love one another.

A Weekend in NY(minus the C)

Hello!

Today I am recovering from spending 20+ hours in the car, and a little over 24 hours in Glen Spey, NY. I'm pretty sure that anybody reading this knows me, and knows that I am a Young Life leader for Capernaum, which is a ministry with kids with disabilities. Most of you know that this weekend I went to Young Life's Lake Champion property for a training weeked with my wonderful leader team.

Thursday night, after waking up early to do homework adn pack, 12 hours of schooling, and then bible study, I went to Kristan and Eric's. The plan was to wake up and leave around 6 a.m.. At about midnight, Eric and Drif decided it would be a good idea to leave then, stop in New York City, and get to the camp a few hours early. And so we left at 1 o'clock in the morning.

The rest of the weekend was filled with awesomeness, and way too many things to go into detail on, but here were some of the highlights:

• The car ride, while completely uncomfortable and not at all conducive to sleep, was a lot of fun. I laughed and laughed, especially at about 3 in the morning, when Kristan decided it would be funny to poke a sleeping Tyler in the armpit with a red vine.
• The city wasn't as great as we anticipated. Probably because none of us knew at all where we were going. We ended up walking down Time Square then eating some legit NY pizza. I'm glad I can now say I've experienced it, but I don't think I would go again, unless I had lots of money to spend, more than 3 hours, and a genuine New Yorker to be my tour guide.
• Actually being there was awesome. It was equal parts encouraging and challenging to hear about other people's ministries. I didn't realize how big of a club we had. This is awesome, but it's also scary. 30 kids showing up is great, but if we're not ready to actually give them our lives and our time, it will just be spreading ourselves too thin. I had also never really thought about how wonderful it is to have so many boys around. I already knew I loved getting to know a different side of them, but I had never realized that it was unusual. In most areas, it was one or two girls starting it by themselves. We're 4:2 boys to girls. Now I realize that's pretty awesome, not something to complain about.
• We met some really cool people. Grizzly, for example, who wouldn't tell me his real name. My favourite was Violet, from New Jersey. She was 5, and when I met her, I asked her how she was involved with Capernaum. Her response was that she liked the swing. The next day, we were supposed to ask one other person a little about their ministry, and then we prayed together. Violet asked if she could join with Kristan and Tyler, then she prayed first. Precious. The last night, I was talking to her dad, and she came over to my chair and asked me if I wanted to play a game with her. Of course! At the end of the night, she came over and gave me a hug before she went to bed.
• This is kind of a continuation of the bullet two above, but Nick Palermo, who started Capernaum, was the speaker this weekend. He was awesome. I've never met someone so able to pull a room into one conversation, together, and intentionally include everyone. I can't wait for our banquet, because he's going to speak, and that means he will be visiting Northern Kentucky.
• The property was beautiful. I loved being there. I promised my dad that I would take pictures (he's a nauture freak) so, although I had to do it really quickly--I thought we were leaving in the morning instead of at midnight--I managed to take a few.

Cameras in general, especially with my limited photographic capability, can't capture how pretty it was, but this is a glimpse. Also, I sat on this giant boulder wrapped in my blanket for my quiet time Saturday morning. "On Christ the Solid Rock I Stand" :)

• On the drive home, we started to plan out weekend camp. I cannot wait to spend the weekend getting to know students better!

This is getting long. I'll probably write another post about Nick's talks, which were super awesome, soon.

Five Random Things

1. Did you know that Tessa is pregnant?! Who is Tessa, you ask. Tessa is one of the Cincinnati Zoo's giraffes. She's going to deliver in the next month or so. That means a little baby giraffe that zoo-goers (hopefully like myself) get to meet! Next to the Sumatran Rhinos, the giraffes are my favourite at the zoo, and with a little six-foot baby, they just might move to number one. Since I've based my plans to move to Indonesia in part on where my favourite zoo animal is found, this is a big deal. I guess I'm moving to Africa now :)

2. I can't describe how awesome of a break I've had. It's been really nice just to have tons and tons of time to sleep and spend time with Jesus. Tuesday night I went to the girls' house for worship. It was a lot of people who I don't normally hang out with, but it ended up being awesome. I meant to leave around 9:30 because I said I'd go to Glee at Kelley's, but all the sudden some body's phone went off and it was 10:30. It did not at all feel like two hours had passed. Then Wednesday I went over to hang out with Kristan. Considering the fact that we're the only girls on our leader team (4 boys), I have a feeling we will be getting very close, very soon. Mostly we just hung out at her apartment and talked, and we made stuffed peppers, and we went to hang out with a student, Emily, who is awesome. Right after, I got to hang out with my favourite red head, Kelley. We had an awesome conversation at Panera, and then we went to see Beastly; speaking of, it's ridiculously sappy, but overall wonderful (I think I would like it even if it were horrible, just because Beauty and the Beast is my favourite fairy tale, but that's another story). We were obnoxiously loud in the theatre, and I died laughing when you could suddenly hear the Justin Bieber movie next door. I had practice twice every day over winter break, and work whenever I could around practice, so I never really reset after last semester. Hopefully this break will help me get my head back in student mode!

3. I love pandora. I'm listening to it right now. How is it so perfect? How does it know Layla is one of my favourites?

4. So, I'm not exactly sure what it is that God wants me to learn in Isaiah, but He's making it pretty clear he wants me to read it. I heard Holy, Holy, Holy in the car today, immediately after I started reading it and I learned that those lyrics were from there. Then, after I got home, I was trying to find where in scripture one of the things me and Kelley talked about yesterday was and it ended up being in Isaiah.

5. I put my puppy in the shower with me the other day. He hated me for it, but that's okay, because he looked so cute afterwards with his head all wet, trying to rub it on the floor. I think it wore him out because afterwards he layed in my bed without moving for three hours. Since he can't get in my bed by himself I know he didn't get up at any point during that time.

Hello World!

Hello fellow bloggers.

So, I've been meaning to make a blog for a very long time. (Ever since a wonderful friend coined the phrase, "Blog it!"... Kath's an all around wonderful coiner of phrases. Case and point: "Be careful what you fish for." :) I've never seemed to find the time, but now that I'm on spring break, and my weekend is miraculously cleared, (long story) I have no excuse not to write.

Frankly, this is a good thing, because I've had a million moments where I've thought, wow, I'd love to blog that, if only I had a blog.

Part of the reason that I've taken so long to make this thing is that I had to give it a title, which I hate doing. It's so hard to be creative and meaningful and such, with only a few words. Thankfully, I thought of a title which I find perfect. It's from Hosea, which is, at least for now, my favorite book of the Bible. Basically, God asks Hosea to take a prostitute for a wife, and the rest of the book is talking about him loving his wife, Gomer, which is then put into the perspective of God's love for his wife, Israel.

Hosea 2 is all about God's love for his bride, and it's messy and painful and not at all the kind of love in fairy tales. God's bride has an adulterous heart. And he responds with wrath. It's harsh. In Hosea 2:13 God says, "I will punish her for the days she burned incense to the Baals; she decked herself with rings and jewelry, and went after her lovers, but me she forgot.” This isn't the God I expect. This isn't an easy gospel, because God's not alright with sin. Something would be wrong with a man who wasn't upset that his wife was going after other lovers.

It's so easy for me to forget that I'm not alright with God. That every morning, I choose to go after other lovers. And it hurts God. He is angry and he is jealous. But he still loves me. And just saying that I'm a Christan isn't enough; he's not okay with me just saying that I'm his wife. He wants my heart. His jealousy is proof that he desires my heart.

And the next line is made even more beautiful, when I remember that I never deserved God's love.  "Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her. There I will give her back her vineyards, and will make the Valley of Achor a door of hope. There she will sing as in the days of her youth, when I freed her from her captivity in Egypt."

I am so thankful that God likes to turn despair into hope. That God has sent his son, because he so desired the heart of his bride. The words God chooses, "there she will sing as in the days of her youth," make me think of when I was little, and I would spin around in circles in dresses and belt the words of Colors of the Wind. That's how God sees me. That is the joy and innocence that the Bible promises I can have because of what Christ did on the cross.

By the way, when making my template I noticed that one of the fonts was called covered by his grace. I liked the title too much not to use it, but it was too difficult to read to make my post text. I applied it to something random, and now I'm trying to spot it. This was pointless, but I just wanted to share.